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The Periodic Table of Crypto

The Periodic Table of Crypto

For beginners

Bitcoin is known as ‘Digital Gold’ due to its scarcity and high value. It’s the safe haven and reserve currency of the crypto world. What about other cryptos, though…?


Bitcoin: Digital Gold. It’s the original form of digital wealth. A store of value that crypto traders seek in times of uncertainty. The ultimate scarce digital asset: don’t be without it.


Litecoin: Digital Silver. Still a scarce asset, though not so scarce as digital gold. It’s more volatile, just like physical silver. It’s more useful as a transactional currency than a store of value, but it has good network effect and isn’t going out of fashion. Totally manipulated, of course.


Ethereum: Digital Plutonium. Really cool. Powerful when handled carefully. Nuclear-scale disaster if you don’t know what you’re doing. Make sure you store it safely. Some wallets are like leaky reactor cores. Yes, Parity. I’m looking at you.


Ripple: Digital Chromium. Shiny shiny shiny!! Look at this, it must be super valuable! I’m so smart for buying a ton of it while it’s so cheap!! Shiny!! Wait, what? There’s 144,633 trillion more tons of this stuff in the ground? Dammit.


BCash: Digital Lead. It’s vaguely shiny, but rather dull. Isn’t worth much, though even lead has its value. But it is rather toxic and frankly you could do a lot better. A bag of this can feel heavy.


Libra: Digital Iron. Utilitarian. Serves a purpose, gets the job done. Useful for making weapons to beat the US government with, though you’d better believe they’re going to beat you back. Nothing particularly special or different, there’s going to be a lot of it, but it’s handy as far as it goes.


Tether: Digital rust. Seems so good, strong, useful. But then you realise that what was once so good is a flaking pile of dirty crap.

BSV: Digital Turds. You can gold plate a turd but it’s still a turd. Just like real turds, there will always be people who have a nasty fascination with digital turds and can’t help playing with them. But they still stink and normal people will avoid them like the plague they are.

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