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CRYPTO: will this be the worst film ever made?

CRYPTO: will this be the worst film ever made?


Maybe not, but it could be surprisingly bad. We’ll take it anyway.


There’s a new film out, due in cinemas on 12 April. It’s titled CRYPTO and it stars Kurt Russell, plus a few others for whom he made space on his bandwagon. Here’s the trailer.


It’s an action-crime-drama-thriller kind of a film. And from the trailer, it doesn’t exactly look promising.


Now, you have to bear in mind a few things. This film is only just coming out now, meaning it’s been a while in the making. It started shooting back in June 2018, and we can assume the script was started at least a few months before that. Like, at the top of the 2017 bubble. But in no way is this film an attempt to cash in on the crypto craze, right?


Secondly, it’s about money laundering. This also dates it somewhat. Bitcoin is used for money laundering, sure. But the times change, a lot. Bitcoin has become popular for terrorist financing, darkweb drug purchases and ransomware payments, as well as making tentative inroads into organised criminal activity through integration in the conventional banking sector. The film does not appear to reflect the multitude of uses to which crypto can be put nowadays. Oh, did we mention the Russian mafia feature? Naturally.


And, of course, this is the first meaningful exposure that many ordinary folk will have with crypto – and the first exposure that a bunch more will have had since they lost a stack of cash a year ago.


So it’s not exactly a great calling card for crypto. On the other hand, it’s going to introduce bitcoin to a bunch of impressionable young people who have money to burn on bad movies, and who will buy shiny glamorous things they don’t understand. And it broadly coincides with the bottom of the bear market. Hmm….


CRYPTO isn’t going to be the worst film ever made – we have to bear in mind oeuvres like Home Alone 3, remember – but it’s almost certainly going to be really bad.


But hey, we’ll take it. There’s no such thing as bad publicity, right?

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